I’m coming clean. I’m being honest. My mentor Mari Smith calls it being “radically transparent” – meaning being who you are authentically without holding back. I’ve been afraid to share my true self for fear of being labeled sick, or weak.
Some of you know I’ve had fibromyalgia for almost 13 years. It’s not one of those highly visible types of illnesses like diabetes, which everyone knows about. It’s not an illness that is well known or talked about often, although that is changing slowly. I live with chronic pain every day; have trouble sleeping, low energy, digestive problems, fatigue and many other symptoms.
The worst symptom for me is called “fibro fog.” It’s the cognitive disability that is common with this illness. Imagine what it felt like when you pulled an all-nighter in college, or stay out to late night after night. Your mind starts to become foggy, you can’t think straight and you are keenly aware that you need more sleep. Imagine feeling that way every single day.
It feels like being hit by a freight train! When it’s at the worst, I can’t think straight, can’t make decisions and definitely cannot write or speak coherently. Oh, I miss my old brain which was sharp as a tack and always ON.
Having fibromyalgia is not something I usually talk about. I tell myself I’m tough and fight through the symptoms; acting as if I am 100 percent healthy like the people around me. I’m in denial a lot of the time because I want my body to function as it used to. When I work too much or am too physically active (like planting bushes in my flower beds last weekend – whew!), my body always reminds me through the searing pain that I am not my former self and I’m different from everyone else.
Why am I sharing this with you now? First, I really want to spread awareness of this illness and how it affects 6 million people in the US alone. One whom I admire most is the author Martha Beck (you may have seen her on Oprah or read her bestselling self help books) who has been an inspiration to me as an example of thriving with fibromyalgia. She is not shy about talking about her illness and has a fabulous career as a writer, even thought she suffers with fibromyalgia like I do. Hey, if Martha can do it, then I can too!
It’s time to become radically transparent, to tell my story of loss, grieving, pain and suffering, yet ultimately triumphing over this illness. I don’t let it keep me down even though there are days that I just can’t get out of bed or summon the energy to get through the day. I push through because I want a life with meaning and freedom, and part of that for me is helping others become all that they can be in creating businesses that allow them to live their purpose.
So instead of sharing a story of “woe is me,” I’d rather tell you a story of transformation and triumph! For many years I thought that having fibromyalgia was a curse (and some days I still do!), but now I look at it as a blessing/ I’ve learned so much and really have grown into the person I want to be, despite my physical limitations.
For example, I never would have thought about having my own business before fibromyalgia. Being forced to quit a job I loved as a college administrator was so crushing to me, but I simply couldn’t keep up with the pace. I knew I couldn’t work full time anymore, but my creative side wanted an outlet. So, 10 years ago I created my first business. I’ve been on a joyful ride ever since. Now, I can’t imagine living any other way. I’ve been able to build a career around my illness which provides me the freedom to work when I want, where I want, spend more time with my children and family, and have time to rest when I need it most.
Before fibromyalgia, I never really appreciated the little things in life…the stuff that really matters. I recently read an article about the regrets of people on their death beds written by a hospice nurse who found commonality among all dying people. They all had the same regrets. They wished they hadn’t worked so hard or spent more time with friends. They wished they had spent more time with the important people in their lives instead of working for the corporate machine. I do not want to have those regrets! That’s exactly what pushes me to live my purpose though my work.
Each one of us was put here for a reason and despite illness, loss and limitations; each of us has the power to create the life we want. Choose happiness over sadness. Find out what we love to do and create and income out of it. Live life to the fullest and fulfill your purpose, no matter how hard life is sometimes. In her last show, Oprah said something that really stuck with me, “You alone are enough. Each one of us was put on this earth for a reason. Your job is to go find your purpose and live it.”
Although still a work in progress, I strive every day to live my purpose to help others build businesses that fulfill their purpose and feed their soul. You alone are enough! You have gifts to share and you have a choice to live a happy life. Having a happy life really is a choice. It took me a long time to realize that. I choose to live my purpose through my business. I’m doing the work I was meant to do.
How about you? Do you consciously see the lesson in every thing that happens in your life, or do you blame others for your unhappiness? Are you living your true purpose, or are you grinding it out, day by day in a job you hate. You have a purpose to live, are you seeking to find it, or accepting your life the way it is and settling for being less than happy?
You have to power to turn it around. There is a lesson in everything – you just need to find it. I’ve learned so many lesions from having this illness that I almost can’t imagine not having it. Is your burden to bear a blessing or a curse? Choose blessing and it will change your life and lead you further to your true purpose and your authentic self.